I felt ashamed!
A few days ago I felt ashamed. I was complaining. But I hate that kind of behavior! I don’t like myself when I complain.
Even to my daughter I was complaining: “I’m complaining and it really annoys me. I should know better. I should apply what I learn others when they want to stop complaining.”
Than my daughter gives me a brilliant feedback: “Mom, you don’t have to be a perfect swimmer to teach others how to swim.” We burst out laughing!
Against better judgement
Being an expert in the process “from complaint to empowerment”, it can also happen to me that – against better judgement – I fall into the pitfall of complaining!
A funny expression, “against better judgement”. Indeed, knowing how to handle something does not mean you act that way. Unwillingly you do something else! How is that possible?
Science says that 95% of the time our autopilot determines our behavior. That explains why it is just human to loose track. The autopilot is a habitual thing. What you repeatedly think and do become habits. And habits are activated automatically. It happens.
Complaining is a sign of an inner conflict; there is a desire but somehow you believe it’s not available for you.
A limiting feeling or belief obscures your thinking. Hidden thoughts and feelings take over from your consciousness and determine your behavior. You want something and at the same time there is a thought or a feeling that tells you this is impossible for you. And then you find yourself complaining.
Judging and blaming
Complaining works in two directions:
- usually you complain to others. However, unintentionally, you claim someone’s time and energy lamenting about whatever.
I’ve never came across people who like to serve as a listening ear for lamentations!
- or you are chatting (silently or out loud) with yourself. Also then, your time and energy evaporate like snow in the sun.
A complaining dialogue always has the character of (self)judging and (self)blaming. Complaining stops. You can’t move forward.
Conclusion: your time and energy evaporates. Something pushes you down, it makes you angry or frustrated, or you feel sad or hurt.
The problem is that you have no idea what you can do about it, because it is not clear what you want. The inner obstacle predominates and blocks you from finding out what you really want.
Complaining is so human, we all do it once in a while. The trick is to notice it and immediately stop this vicious circle that takes you down emotionally. Complaining pushes you in a low energetic vibration.
An immediate time-out is the best first action. When you stop there is a choice: how do you want to be?
For ’10 ways to stop complaining’ Click here for a set of supportive beliefs .
You can learn to stop complaining.
For a quick and sustainable result, you have to first replace the pattern of complaining with the ability to connect to your needs. Then finding your solutions becomes easy in any situation.
My goal is never to complain and I am close. Being attentive and aware of my thinking and feeling is the best solution. Gradually I become better at sensing and fulfilling my needs.
You want some support to overcome complaining habits? You’re looking for a lifebuoy to prevent you from drowning?
You need some practical tips and more importantly, you need to overcome hidden obstacles and integrate new supportive beliefs.
All these elements together is a golden combination. It results in new habits: you will be able to know and feel your needs; and to express them. The old habit of complaining will be forgotten, because in the subconscious mind it has been erased and replaced.
Allow yourself a lifebuoy to bring you to safe waters. Then you’re ready to move on and take action. Satisfaction and peace of mind comes with fulfilling your needs.
What’s your view about complaining? In what kind of situation you find yourself complaining?
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