Catering for Setbacks…
January 7th, 2009 . by Leon Jay .Perhaps you have set your goals. The time is ticking by & you are not on track to achieving them. Your frustration is growing and you are starting to freak out. What can you do?
Firstly you are not a failure if you do not achieve one of your goals. The most important thing to do is attempt fearlessly & honestly give it your best shot. Whatever setback has appeared is necessary for your growth. This can be a hard pill to swallow as you are probably thinking, “there is no way this set-back could be helping me.”
Every road block has its purpose. If you look closely at your goal, are you barking up the wrong tree? Are you trying to achieve a goal in a way you think is the only way, when perhaps there is a different easier way? A set-back could be a way of alerting you to this.
Looking back at my life there has always been a silver lining to every ‘horrific incident’ that has appeared in my life. At the time it may not be reassuring knowing this. If you are in the middle of a set-back what can you do?
I would recommend continuing on your path to your goal. Ask yourself, “is there any way I could be achieving this goal differently?” Often if you ask the right questions, you will obtain the right answers. Also pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel excited & genuinely happy at the idea of achieving your goals? If not you are wasting your time, chasing something you don’t want deep down.
I like this quote. “The deepest human defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.”
Ashley Montagu
a setback . minor setback . setback . setback for . setbacks in
Comments
Hey Leon
I never used to do the things I promised myself I’d do, so when I actually wrote down these goals on a piece of paper it felt really really good , because I was taking the Illusive dreams of my imaginary world from my head and actually making it appear real on that piece of paper, the thing is that most dreams have prerequisites, in order for that dream to be achieved I would have to face obstacles or meet certain criterion, It was never a Straight-forward Goal but rather a Final End product of many and sometimes impossible requirements, The idea of achieving my goals does in fact excite me but I don’t know if I have the “Energy” to go through all of that, what’s worse is that I’m not even sure that achieving those goals will improve my life at all, Last year I got my car, what an amazing feeling to really work for something so hard and so long and finally achieving it after years of wishing upon many stars. The irony is, the feeling didn’t last very long because although I was quite contempt in achieving this goal it never did enhance my life the way I assumed it would, in fact it created more problems, more expenses, worse even it made me believe that all my goals would follow the same pattern, and that my goals are nothing more than a con. How do I know that my goals will lead me to the place that I want to go?? I know my destination but I have no idea how to get there.
I don’t know..Maybe in a major way this is laziness and a lack of willpower but this psychotic mentality of wanting more and not finding the zeal to take action is crueler than anything in this world.
Neoblade
January 8th, 2009
Hi Neoblade
When you talk about getting the car you’ve always wanted, but it didn’t enhance your life in the way it would. What did you think you were attaining in driving/owning that car? Did you think more security, more prestige, more acceptance?
Sometimes we chase what we think we want, when really these are just a cover for our real hidden desires.
I’m sure you have heard that when people want more money, it is often more security and freedom they are really chasing.
If you can be honest with yourself and answer what you are really striving for, it will then be easier to work out which is the best path to get there.
Brian Tracey identifies these drives:
to be admired
to be liked,
to be successful,
to be healthy,
to have respect,
to have recognition,
to have social status,
to be up-to-date & current,
to have power,
to hold influence,
to be popular,
for self expression,
for comfort,
for understanding,
for self actualisation,
for companionship,
for knowledge,
to not miss out
for self preservation
Neoblade, can you identify with any of these driving forces?
You say you know your end destination. Many don’t have a clue, so this is a blessing. How to get there should be made clear to you as you follow any path towards your end destination, you will be shown which direction to go in. The most important thing is just to get moving, to begin.
You articulate yourself well & come across as intellingent, not lazy as you suggest.
Leon Jay
Leon Jay
January 8th, 2009
Hey Leon
Wow Dude, Really Powerful points brought forward here. I can totally identify with all those driving forces. You 100% correct because my deep underlying “WANTS” are in fact listed above so when I conceptualize this further I’m beginning to realize that I was responsible for hiding those drives in External Objects all this time. I couldn’t agree with you more when you mentioned that there are other paths that could lead to achieving my goals, Different & More Effective Paths, this just makes everything so much more clearer when it’s broken down to basic Core of WHAT I REALLY WANT. I was socially conditioned to believe that THE MORE YOU HAVE, THE MORE VALUE YOU HAVE so naturally I falsely attached getting a vehicle to the driving forces of “to be successful”, “to have respect”, “to have recognition” ect. I put so much effort into that false conceptualization that I actually believed that this part of my life was sorted and I could move on from there; I’m glad you brought forward this realization, this insight is not only profound and inspiring but an amazing epiphany. Leon, you really are changing people’s lives with your work, I’m so glad that I came across this website.
Thanks for all your help
Neoblade
January 9th, 2009
You are welcome! I’m glad a nerve was hit for you…
Leon Jay
Leon Jay
January 11th, 2009